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Writer's pictureFreya Corboy

Feeling anxious or having anxiety. What's the difference?

Updated: Apr 26


I get asked this question all the time, so have written this blog post to help mums out there to identify the difference and know that it is OK to seek help or support from a qualified counsellor or psychologist if you are not sure, or if the feelings are persistent or feel too big to manage.


What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural and common emotional response to stressors in our lives. It's your body's way of preparing for a challenge, whether it's a work deadline, a presentation, or an upcoming family event. Anxiety can even be a protective mechanism, keeping you alert and cautious in potentially risky situations.

However, when anxiety becomes persistent, overwhelming, or interferes with your daily life, it may be classified as an anxiety disorder. These disorders can manifest in various forms, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety disorder, or panic disorder. Anxiety disorders are characterized by excessive and irrational worry, physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat and sweating, and a general sense of unease.


It is way more common than you think.

If you are feeling this way, know it is OK and that you are not alone. Anxiety is a really common among women, and particularly mothers. According to Beyond Blue, women are more likely than men to experience anxiety disorders. It's estimated that 1 in 3 women will experience anxiety in their lifetime. These statistics highlight that anxiety is not an isolated issue but a shared experience for many women, including busy working mothers like you.


So how do I know if I am just anxious or have anxiety?

Now, let's clarify the distinction between anxiety and feeling anxious or worried. Feeling worried or anxious from time to time is entirely normal. Juggling the demands of work, parenting, and daily life can be overwhelming. It is a lot and it is OK not to feel fantastic about motherhood all the time. So where do we draw the line between anxiety and anxiousness? Well, there is no magic formula or a set number of times it is "healthy" to worry in a week. It varies from person to person and depends a lot on what is happening in your life at the time. As professionals, we generally look at a few indicators to help inform us if something else might be going on:

  1. Duration and Intensity: Feeling anxious or worried is a natural emotional response to specific situations or concerns, like a child's school , family health issues or a or a pending work project. It's temporary and often subsides once the situation is resolved. In contrast, anxiety persists over a more extended period and may not be directly linked to a specific event. It can linger, causing distress even when there's no apparent reason. If you feel worried and uneasy a lot of the time and you don't know why, it might be a good idea to reach out for some help.

  2. Impact on Daily Life: Feeling anxious or worried occasionally doesn't typically disrupt your daily routines or relationships. Anxiety, on the other hand, can interfere with your ability to function at work, maintain relationships, or fulfil parenting duties. If you find yourself avoiding situations or changing your routine to manage your anxious feelings, it might be a good idea to speak to someone.

  3. Physical Symptoms: Anxiety often comes with physical symptoms such as muscle tension, restlessness, and racing thoughts. These symptoms may be more pronounced and persistent compared to the fleeting physical sensations associated with occasional worry. If you notice you are having trouble sleeping or your eating and digestion patterns are different, again it might be good to have a chat to someone who can give you some techniques and tools to reduce these symptoms.


So is it normal to feel anxious, yes. Is it normal to have anxiety at some point in your life, yes. The good news is both are manageable and it is entirely possible to feel different. Our self-help tools including mindfulness, cognitive dissonance and playing the script to the end are all fantastic free resources to help you reduce feelings of worry. If you think something else might be going on it is a good idea to book an appointment with a trained professional such as your GP, a psychologist or counsellor as they are trained to help you work through it and feel better, faster.

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