Surviving the Silly Season (Part 2): Sensory Needs, Social Batteries & Christmas as a Neurodivergent Mum

Christmas is sold to us as twinkly lights, happy families and “the most wonderful time of the year.” For many neurodivergent mums, it’s also… a lot. Louder. Brighter. Busier.
More people. More expectations. More decisions.

If your nervous system wants to curl up in a quiet corner with noise-cancelling headphones and a book, you are not broken. You are not a Grinch. You are a human with very real sensory and social needs in a season that forgets those exist.

This blog is about giving ourself a gentle permission slip to do Christmas your way.

Sensory Needs: When Christmas Feels Too Loud, Bright & Much

Neurodivergent brains often process sensory information more intensely or differently. At Christmas, everything gets turned up:

• Shops are crowded, noisy and echoey

• Lights flicker or flash

• Music plays on loop (the same 3 carols, forever)

• New smells, scratchy clothes, different foods

• Extra travel, late nights, changed routines

Your brain and body are working overtime just to be in these spaces. That’s not you being “dramatic” or “too sensitive” – that’s your nervous system doing its best to keep you safe.

How to notice when your sensory system is overloaded

Every mum is different, but some common signs include:

• Headache, tension in jaw/neck/shoulders

• Feeling snappy, irritable or suddenly “done with everyone”

• Brain fog or finding it hard to think straight

• Feeling like you want to escape, hide or shut down

• Your child’s noises or movement feeling extra intense

Strategies and accommodations to support:

If this is you, your nervous system isn’t failing. It’s full.

Try this: small sensory shifts that help. You don’t have to redesign Christmas from scratch (unless you want to). Tiny tweaks can make a big difference.

1. Create a “sensory safe place”
At home or wherever you’re celebrating, choose a corner/room that is:

• Dimmer (or with softer lighting)

• Quieter (or with calming background noise you choose)

• Predictable (same blanket, same chair, same cup of tea)

Make it clear to your family:

“If I’m in this spot, I’m just recharging. I’m okay, I’m just resting my brain.”

2. Plan your sensory “outs” before you go in

Before events, ask yourself:

• Where can I step away if it gets too loud?

• Can I drive separately or have an exit plan?

• Can we arrive late or leave early to avoid peak chaos?

Even just knowing you can leave often calms the nervous system.

3. Bring your supports (for you and your kids)

Think:

• Noise-cancelling headphones or discreet earplugs

• Sunglasses or caps for bright spaces

• Fidget tools, chewy jewellery, small comfort items

• Comfortable clothes (yes, you can say no to the scratchy Christmas dress)

This is not “being difficult.” This is accessibility.

Emotional & Social Needs: Other People’s Feelings, Expectations & The Art of Protecting Your Energy

The social side of Christmas isn’t just showing up — it’s performing, managing, anticipating, and often masking.

Many neurodivergent mums find that their social needs are very different from what the holiday season demands. December isn’t one event; it’s a whole cascade of them. Each one comes with:

• new sensory environments

• new emotional dynamics

• new expectations

• new people peopling

• new roles to step into

Even if you enjoy some of the connection, the volume of it all can push your social battery past capacity long before Christmas Day even arrives.

For many ND mums, masking becomes the silent “cost of entry” — smiling when you’re flooded, staying polite when you’re worn down, keeping the peace even when your nervous system is quietly narrating, “too much, too much, too much.”
Masking isn’t fake. It’s survival. But it’s also exhausting.

Alongside your own internal load, you might also be managing:

• other people’s emotions

• family expectations

• polite-but-cutting comments

• judgement about your child’s needs

• pressure to host, attend or “be on”

• keeping things smooth when you’re already stretched thin

It’s a lot. And nothing about your struggle means you’re lacking. It means the season asks more from your brain, body and heart than most people can see.

How to notice when this emotional load is draining you.

Signs include:

• Feeling responsible for everyone’s comfort or happiness

• Pre-bracing before events

• Going quiet or shutting down to avoid conflict

• Feeling guilt for things that aren’t yours

• Emotionally “checking out” or wanting to escape

This is not failing. This is emotional saturation.

Try this: gentle social boundaries that honour your energy

1. Decide your Yeses & Nos — and choose a short, kind script to match

Pick the moments that matter and release the ones that drain you. Examples:

• “We’ll come for an hour, and then head home to rest.”

• “It would be great if we could catch up in a smaller group in the New Year”

• “How about a Park Picnic instead of a busy restaurant.”

Simple. Warm. Decluttered.

2. A neuroaffirming strategy for emotional protection: The ‘Circle of What’s Mine’

Your radar picks up subtleties others miss. That’s a strength, but it can get heavy. This helps you hold only what belongs to you.

Imagine two circles:

• Inner Circle: What’s Mine
  My needs, my child’s wellbeing, my limits, my decisions.

• Outer Circle: Not Mine
  Their disappointment.
  Their judgements.
  Their stress.
  Their criticism.
  Their expectations of what the “perfect Christmas” looks like.

When something sticks to you, gently ask:

“Is this in my circle or theirs?”

If it’s theirs, place it outside. Let your breath be the boundary.

3. Build in recovery space — on purpose

Emotional labour drains your battery as much as sensory overload. Create buffers:

• A quiet hour before the event

• A decompression day after

• Easy meals

• Alone-time pockets woven into the week

Your nervous system is not an endless fountain. It needs topping up.

You are not alone in finding this time of year tricky and it is Ok to look after you needs so you can enjoy more of the holiday season. There is no 'right' way to do Christmas - when we take a step back from others expectations and enjoy Christmas our way, honouring our needs - it is better for everyone.