navigating your own neurodiversity
Our neurodiversity is not something we have - it is part of who we are. It is how our brain works and shapes how we interpret the world. Our beautiful brains bring a phenomenal amount of strengths and unique qualities that make us capable of doing, seeing and being that many neurotypicals can not understand. But like anything, it comes with setbacks and challenges too which make navigating the demands of modern motherhood a little more challenging. We are each different with a unique mix of strengths, values, stories, memories, needs, wants desires and traumas that come together in unexpected ways.
Whether you have had a diagnosis for a long time, or like many are late diagnosed, your neurodiverse identity and motherhood identity will have shaped one another presenting a unique view of the mother you are, presenting its own challenges. When I work with neurodiverse mums I take time to work with you to understand this intersectionality, how your brain works and what your needs and aspirations are. Together we create a plan to support you as a mother and work on it together, honouring your communication styles and preferences. ​​
Common challenges for ND mums
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Increased executive functioning demands and feeling like you are drowning in 'to dos'
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Sensory environment – Feeling constantly on edge as your sensory needs are not met
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Being 'touched out' – Losing bodily autonomy and not being able to have physical space
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Social interactions – Less interactions you want and more you 'should' or 'must' do
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Overwhelm – Struggling to meet the emotional, physical and practical demands on you
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Difficulty asking for help – Feeling overwhelmed but not sure what help you need or how to ask
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Feeling 'less than' – Comparing your motherhood experience to others and coming up short
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Managing change - Change is constant and it feels like there is no time to adapt
Don't feel you have to do it alone
As a neurodiverse person I know that often change can feel hard and that often asking for help is harder. Motherhood changes everything (our bodies, emotions, patterns, routines, roles and relationships) and there is no instruction manual, just lots of well meaning advice and conflicting opinions that can make us feel less than. It is a lot of trial and error and working out what is right for you and your family and when you finally have it 'nailed' things change again.
When things are hard, it can be difficult to know what you need and even if you know, asking for help can feel really uncomfortable. I get that. Most of my mothers just feel something is wrong, but don't know what they need and that is part of the process. I would love to support you in your motherhood journey and help you to navigate this new world. ​​I offer both counselling and AuADHD/ADHD coaching to support neurodiverse mothers.
Not sure what you need? That's OK - I am here to help. You can reach out via email with all your questions
or book a free, no obligation discovery call via the links below:
Late diagnosis
Many neurodiverse mums only find out about their own neurotype when going through diagnosis processes for their own kids. Suddenly, there is a missing piece of the puzzle as to why certain things are more of a struggle and why you glide through other things. Once this initial reaction passes, the combination of feelings can be quite overwhelming as you work through what this means for you, your family and your life moving forward.
Common feelings in late diagnosis
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Relief – Your life and experiences finally make sense and you have finally been seen.
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Grief – Mourning lost time, missed opportunities, and the support that was never given.
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Anger – Feeling resentment towards the systems and people that made you feel 'defective'.
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Regret – Wishing you had known sooner, imagining how things could have been different.
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Confusion – Questioning who you are without the mask and what your identity really is.
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Isolation – Feeling disconnected from others who don’t understand or disregard you.
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Overwhelm – Struggling to process new information and implications.
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Fear – Worrying about how others will react and if it is safe to unmask.
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Powerless – Feeling like you are 'stuck with' your symptoms for the rest of your life.
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Guilt – Misplaced guilt that your kids share your neurodiversity and fears for their future.
it doesn't have to be this way
Feelings are not good or bad, but some are much harder to sit with and feel more unpleasant for us. The good news is that feelings can not hurt us and they are not facts - they can be heard, processed and changed. Feelings only have the power we choose to give them. By working without our feelings differently, we can move on from this difficult process to a place of empowerment.
Diagnosis does not change us: It is an invitation to understand us better.
I am lucky enough to work with mums every day who are going through this process. I create a space to experience feelings safely, without judgement or fear. We process these feelings, practice acceptance, remove the power they have over us and reauthor a new reality filled with curiosity, empowerment and joy.
I help clients to feel:
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Acceptance – Feeling at peace and whole, embracing a positive neurodiverse identity.
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Empowerment – Confidence in decisions, advocacy, setting boundaries and thinking differently.
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Relief – Letting go of past self-doubt and realising that struggles were never a personal failing.
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Joy – From living authentically, unmasking, embracing passions and connecting with our community.
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Compassion – Being kinder and more understanding of our thoughts and actions.
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Calm – Creating systems, processes and environments that work with our brains and support our needs.
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Curiosity – Learning about our beautiful brains, their superpowers and our community.
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Hope – Looking forward to the future, knowing you have the tools, knowledge, and support to thrive.
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Pride – In your amazing strengths and seeing them reflected in your own kids.
Diagnosis debriefs
For many mothers we find out about our own neurodiversity when our children are diagnosed. Sometimes we will have a formal diagnosis, other times it might be self-identified. For many adult clients, formal diagnosis, is often a process focused on data and medication and once the diagnosis report is handed over, that is it. There is no ongoing support to process feelings and work out what it all means for you. For self-diagnosed/self-identified mothers, they often face judgement from those around and fear discussing it with others. It is a tough place to be.
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To help clients kick start this journey, I offer a special 90 minute 'diagnosis debrief' session to share your diagnosis journey, identify and process some of the feelings you are experiencing and set some practical next steps to take you forward in your neuroaffirming journey of self discovery. In this special 90 minute session clients can:
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Share their diagnosis story
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Understand the 'grief' or adjustment process
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Identify feelings, worries and questions - and how this might differ to others
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Talk about possible strategies and supports
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Discuss ableism, neuroaffirming language, strengths and culture.
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These sessions are longer to allow for more time to process the experience. Sometimes it might lead into ongoing counselling for a period, joining support or small groups but for many clients the process is validating and affirming and they want to continue self-learning. To support clients with this, I have created a neuroaffirming pathway to continue self-learning with brilliant neuroaffirming sources from across the web.
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Sessions are $200 ex GST for the 90 minutes and each client will be provided with a neuroaffirming learning pathway to keep their learning going with carefully curated resources from across the web including webinars, videos, podcasts, articles, books and even cartoons to help you learn more about yourself in a strengths based, positive way.
To get started, you can book a free 15 minute, no obligation, discovery call to see how a diagnosis debrief might support you or you can dive right in and book your session today.
Other ways I can support you
Dive deep into your feelings in a one on one counselling session. Speak your mind without fear of judgement and learn new neuroaffirming strategies to think and feel differently.
No topic is off limits.
AuDHD and ADHD coaching is a great way to learn new skills and get some support to boost your strengths and reduce the pain points that come from living in a world designed for neurotypical people.​
Our small groups have no more than 10 participants and run for 90 minutes. Meet mums with brains that work in the same way, ask questions, explore emotions and learn new skills in a supportive environment.
Not sure what you need? That's OK - I am here to help. You can reach out via email with all your questions
or book a free, no obligation discovery call via the links below:
Other resources to support you
Sometimes, we like to learn at our own place, on our own and dive down the rabbit hole. To help neurodiverse mothers on their learning journey, I have made a number of self help tools and articles available which I have designed for busy mums that don't have a lot of time to spend on themselves.
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These resources are curated and tagged so you can easily find what you are looking for, and come back to access more, when you are ready. You can keep and share as many as you like, just remember to let people know where you got them.
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