neurodivergent overwhelm and neurodivergent burnout

Worries and fears are a normal part of motherhood. You are responsible for the health, safety and wellbeing of another human being who is incapable of looking after themselves. Of course you worry. We take it for granted that this is a part of the process, and it is. However, if you find yourself worrying all the time, have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep due to these worries, if you avoid situations because of these worries are leading you change your eating habits it might be a sign that these worries have grown into anxiety. 

​

Worry, anxiety, overwhelm and burnout are all from within the same family. They come from a place of fear and trigger a fight, flight or freeze response within us. This is why when we feel them they are so uncomfortable, it is because our lizard brain has been activated in response to a threat and our sympathetic nervous system floods our bodies with "helpful" chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline so we can run away really fast from the threat, or climb a tree to get out of danger, or stand still like a statue until the threat passes. When we are in this state, it is not possible to think rationally, or logically. It is not possible to have perspective, to make a robust plan or to critically evaluate things for fact. That part of your brain is shut off, completely inaccessible to you as it is not related to survival. 

​

Scary and safe versus scary and dangerous

​The problem with this process in the modern world, is that most things that scare us or cause us concern are not physical threats to our lives. They are what is called scary and safe. They are thoughts, hypotheticals and what ifs, but our brains can't differentiate between this and real threat or what is called scary and dangerous. The more time you spend in this state, the more easily this process activates, leading you to spend more time in this state and the process keeps repeating. In an effort to get out of it, we start to avoid triggers of our worries which actually makes them more scary, not less. It becomes a vicious and repeating cycle which can become tricky to get out of. 

 

When you are on this slippery slope, this is when we start to get into overwhelm where everything, even simple decisions are seen as a threat; or burnout where we are emotionally, chemically and physically depleted - the batteries have run out and doing the most basic tasks feels too hard. Mum burnout and autistic burnout are really things. Usually before this stage there are signs or what is called brownout. There are signs that your worries are building up, often digestive issues such as going more often or note enough, changes in appetite, changes in sleep such as trouble settling or staying asleep, brain fog, being unable to focus, forgetfulness and fatigue. The earlier you start working through this, the easier it is to retrain your body, reset your nervous system and start to live a calmer, more present and more satisfying life. 

​​