anxious or overwhelmed

Worries and fears are a normal part of motherhood. You are responsible for the health, safety and wellbeing of another human being who is incapable of looking after themselves. Of course you worry. We take it for granted that this is a part of the process, and it is. However, we rarely stop and reflect and ask whether we really need to worry this much or whether the worries need to feel quite so overwhelming. 

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Worry, anxiety, overwhelm and burnout are all from within the same family. They come from a place of fear and trigger a flight or flight response within us. This is why when we feel them they are so uncomfortable, it is because our lizard brain has been activated in response to a threat and our sympathetic nervous system floods our bodies with "helpful" chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline so we can run away really fast from the threat, or climb a tree to get out of danger. When we are in this state, it is not possible to think rationally, or logically. It is not possible to have perspective, to make a robust plan or to critically evaluate things for fact. That part of your brain is shut off, completely inaccessible to you as it is not related to survival. 

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The problem with this process in the modern world, is that most things that scare us or cause us concern are not physical threats to our lives. They are thoughts, hypotheticals and what ifs, but our brains can't tell the difference. The more time you spend in this state, the more easily this process activates, leading you to spend more time in this state and the process keeps repeating. In an effort to get out of it, we start to avoid triggers of our worries which actually makes them more scary, not less. It becomes a vicious and repeating cycle which can become tricky to get out of. 

 

When you are on this slippery slope, this is when we start to get into overwhelm where everything, even simple decisions are seen as a threat; or burnout where we are emotionally, chemically and physically depleted - the batteries have run out and doing the most basic of tasks feels too hard. Usually in between there are signs that your worries are building up, often digestive issues such as going more often or note enough, changes in appetite, changes in sleep such as trouble settling or staying asleep, brain fog, being unable to focus, forgetfulness and fatigue. The earlier you start working through this, the easier it is to retrain your body and start to live a calmer, more present and more satisfying life. 

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Nearly every mum I work with struggles with excessive worries and this can often feed into mum guilt. Some clients have been previously diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but many have not. I know a lot of clients don't want a label, they just want help and this is where Mumshine comes in. Most are able to see significant improvement in just a few sessions as we discuss what is worrying them and shine a light on these worries as fears only exist in the dark. As we work through these fears, we find strategies which are already helpful and working for you and look to supplement these with additional techniques that work for you and we try and learn together. I am not the type of therapist which will make everyone journal or meditate every day, whatever we work out needs to be right for you, how you think and how you live your life. This is the only way to get lasting change.