As working mums, we often find ourselves in a delicate balancing act, juggling competing demands between our work and personal needs, wants and demands. It is a fine balance and the constant juggling can lead to heightened feelings of worry and stress. If this is you, read on for some practical tips to help lighten the load and reduce feelings of worry and overwhelm.
1. Strict Time Management
Time is the one truly finite resource in the world. Nobody has enough time in the day to do all the things they want, or that others expect of them. This is totally normal and you are not alone. Having healthy boundaries, saying no and limiting the amount of time you spend on things that are not aligned with your values and needs is the best way in ending up with too much on the plate, but if things have snuck in you can try the below:
Prioritise - Think of what matters most to you and your family and the number one thing that you need to do to support that vision. Do that one thing and forget about everything else. Only when it is done, do the next thing.
Delegate When Possible - Yes it can be slower to start off with and they definitely won't do it as well as you, but that is OK. I would prefer the beds to look less perfect when they are made or the presentation to not have all the bells and whistles, if it gives me 15 minutes back a day.
Manage Expectations - If people are asking too much from you, tell them you have time to do one thing and ask them to choose the most important. If you can't get to something or won't have capacity, try saying no up front (so people can plan around it) or set a limit e.g. I can only spend 30 minutes on it.
Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for work, family, and personal activities. Explain these boundaries to people and do things to remove distractions, such as turning off your phone.
2. Embrace Self-Care
When we are busy, self-care is often the first thing to go even though it makes us happier, healthier and a better mother. Push something else off the list and put this first in the day, your family needs you to be strong, so putting yourself first is actually being selfless.
Schedule "Me Time": Dedicate regular 'muments' for self-care activities that you genuinely enjoy, whether it's reading, exercising, pampering or chatting with a friend. Ensure these 'muments' become non-negotiable in your schedule.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you stay present and minimize anxiety. You can do these while you do chores or commute to work in as little as 5 minutes.
Prioritise Sleep: Adequate sleep is essential for overall well-being. Turn off your socials and go to bed early. If your mind is racing try a guided sleep meditation or hypnosis, available on streaming services. They work a treat!
3. Effective Communication
Clear and open communication plays a pivotal role in reducing worry, both at work and at home:
Talk to Your Employer: If possible, engage in an open dialogue with your employer or supervisor about your work-life balance needs. Explore flexible work arrangements or adjustments that can help alleviate worry.
Family Discussions: Hold regular family meetings to discuss schedules, responsibilities, and expectations. This approach ensures everyone is on the same page, reducing last-minute surprises.
Establish Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to colleagues and family members. Let them know when you're available and when you require uninterrupted time.
4. It takes a village
You are not alone in feeling this way. Chances are other mums at your work, school or daycare group are feeling the same way. There maybe some hidden opportunities to create some win:wins:
Ask for help from family: If you have family around, asking for help in daily life is a great option. Most grandparents love spending time with the grandkids or helping out at home (remember you never stop being a parent). Just remember they will get it wrong and do it different to you and that is AOK.
Resource pool with friends: Do you have friends with kids the same age? School or mothers group mums? How can you share the load? What about alternate drop offs, collections or play dates with bath and dinner? Alternate care days in school holidays? Sure it is twice the work for your night, but you get a night off in return. Brilliant.
The long and the short of it is, we all struggle for time and don't have enough hours in the day, you are not alone. When you feel worried or overwhelmed, it can feel lonely and like there is no way out. Hopefully this post provided some reassurances and fresh ideas. You can also check out our free self-help worksheets on mindfulness, boundaries and feeling overwhelmed for some more in depth strategies.
Speaking about your worries with a trained professional, such as a counsellor, also has significant benefits and can make worries instantly feel lighter and they can work with you on strategies which are tailored, just for you.
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