Simple Grounding Tools for Autistic and ADHD Mums

What is grounding?

In the counselling context when we ask you if you are feeling grounded, we don't mean are you feeling down to earth or are you parking your ego at the door. We mean are you living in your body in the present moment or are you living in your head, trapped in past mistakes or future possibilities, thinking about what is next, what is left to do, what has already happened. When we are here, present and in our body enjoying the here and now, we are grounded.

It comes from the idea of rooting our feet in the ground, feeling the connection between ourselves and something physical in the real world, not in our heads and focusing in on the connection. In last week's blog we spoke about breathing and how it can help you to come back to the moment. Think of grounding as an extension of this something to physically force you, to be in the moment and put that reptile part of your brain (that fight or flight) response, to go back to sleep so you can move on with your day.

How Does Grounding Work?

Grounding works by redirecting your attention away from anxious or intrusive thoughts and towards something tangible and immediate. This shift in focus can help interrupt the cycle of negative thinking and bring you back to a state of calmness and clarity. Grounding techniques are particularly effective because they engage your senses, such as touch, sight, and sound, which can help anchor you in the present moment. When we are in the present moment, we are safe and this then tells our central nervous system to relax, breaking the cycle of fight and flight.

If you think about it, most of our ancestors spent time doing this without even thinking about it as they walked long distances, hunted, fishes or worked outside. In our modern lives our brains are often so far removed from our bodies, looking at screens, consuming huge amounts of information that these neural pathways have come a bit diluted leading us to feel like our minds and our bodies are 2 different things. The more you practice grounding, the more you can bring these 2 things together - helping you to feel more calm and more present, more often.

Why is grounding so important for neurodivergent mums?

Neurodivergent brains are structured and wired differently - there are a lot of strengths that come along with this and a few things that make living in the hectic, modern world a little more complicated. A common characteristic of autistic and ADHD brains is that the central nervous system can be more easily triggered. This is often due to neurodivergent people being really attuned to their sensory environments and hyperaware of sensory input meaning that environmental changes can trigger our nervous systems to feel unsafe (such as changes in noise, temperature, light etc.) In the case of ADHD brains we often have a lot of fast moving thoughts that seem to have a mind of their own and this can lead us easily into the past or future where we see these thoughts as threats (fear and guilt come from here also). And whilst all this is going on, often we have a reduced awareness of what is happening inside our bodies so we don't know we are hungry until we are hangry or feeling annoyed until we are rage quitting. When we are in these states our body is being told on a cellular level that we are not safe and we again find ourselves in fight, flight and freeze. When you throw the additional cognitive and emotional load that motherhood brings - coupled with a higher and more complex pace of life - it is no surprise we end up in fight or flight more often, which overtime builds into overwhelm.

How grounding works with breathing techniques for Autistic and ADHD mums.

Grounding techniques can be especially powerful when combined with breathing activities or breathwork. Deep breathing can help calm your nervous system and reduce stress, while grounding techniques can help bring your mind and body back together, into the present moment. Together, they create a powerful combination for promoting mental health and wellbeing. I prefer to do some deep breathing first and then complete a grounding activity, but it really is personal preference - try doing them at the same time or with breathing first and see what works for you.

Grounding can be as simple as slowly walking around paying attention to how your feet hit the ground, as you breathe in and out and take the time to notice and count things around you. Doing this barefoot and feeling your feet touch the ground and doing this out in nature are powerful amplifiers for the process, but really there are no limits. If you can find just a few minutes it gives your mind a rest, a chance to gain perspective and the problems and worries do not seem so big anymore.

Grounding techniques that work well for Autistic and ADHD mums

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: This technique involves using your senses to ground yourself. Start by naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This can help bring your focus back to the present moment.

2. Grounding Objects: Keep a small, meaningful object with you, such as a pebble, a piece of jewellery, or a photo. When you feel anxious or stressed, hold the object in your hand and focus on its texture, weight, and shape. This can help anchor you in the present moment and provide a sense of comfort. Trace around it as you like.

3. Mindful Stimming: This is about embracing stimming but as you do it noticing what is happening in your body. What are you doing (note the motion, sensation, repitition), how does it feel (calm, focused, at ease, relaxed), where do you notice a change in your body (breathing, heartrate, muscle tension).

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Start by tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from your toes and working up to your head. This can help release physical tension and promote a sense of relaxation.

5. Drop Anchor: Sit in a chair and plant your feet on the ground. Push your body down into the chair and your feet into the floor nothing how it feels to have something firm and supportive beneath you. How do your muscles respond and change when they are pushed back by the chair and the earth. As you do this breathe deeply and then relax your muscles and stretch up tall. How does your body feel different. Repeat.

The great news about these grounding techniques is that they are really easy to do, in the moment, no matter where life takes you. Slow your thoughts, slow your nervous system and come back to the now, because right now - in this moment, you are safe. Did you know as counsellors, we can support you in working through difficult and persistent thoughts, but we can also be available to help you with learning and applying mindfulness techniques as a one off. I love doing this with clients, like a personal trainer for the brain. You can book a session with me, in just a few clicks both in person and online.