AuDHD Support for Mums: Finding Balance When You’re Wired Both Ways

Being a mum is already full-on — the endless to-do lists, the constant juggle, the never-ending emotional labour. But if you’re AuDHD — autistic and ADHD — motherhood can feel like spinning ten plates with hands that won’t keep still.

I know this because I’m an AuDHDer mum myself and I am lucky enough to support AuADHD mums, just like you, everyday. Understanding my wiring helped me make sense of why motherhood felt so overwhelming at times. It wasn’t that I was failing; it was that my brain was working overtime to juggle two sets of needs. That insight changed everything — and it’s why I’m passionate about supporting other mums to find their own balance.

You are a magnificent mum

Why AuDHD Feels Different in Motherhood

Parenting always asks a lot, but AuDHD mums often feel like the demands are amplified:

• Executive function overload: remembering school notes, meal planning, keeping on top of forms and deadlines can feel like a never-ending mountain.

• Sensory overwhelm: the noise, chaos, and unpredictability of kids can hit harder when your nervous system is already finely tuned.

• Clashing expectations: society’s idea of the “perfect mum” (always organised, calm, and patient) can feel painfully out of step with your lived reality.

Instead of feeling supported, many mums are left questioning themselves — “Why can’t I keep up? Why does this feel harder for me than for others?” The truth is, your wiring makes the load heavier, not your worth.

The Hidden Load of AuDHD Mums

What makes things trickier is that much of this struggle is invisible.

• Mum guilt, magnified: you may feel like you’re not consistent enough, organised enough, or patient enough — even though you’re giving everything you have.

• Masking to cope: on the outside you look like you’re holding it together, but inside you’re running on empty.

• Burnout: trying to meet everyone else’s needs while ignoring your own can lead to deep exhaustion. We often live in extremes of all or nothing and it can be hard to find the right pace.

  
  

Many mums only realise they’re AuDHD later in life, often after years of wondering why nothing ever quite fit. That late discovery can bring relief — but also grief for the years spent struggling without the right support.

Why Support Matters

When mums feel supported, the whole family benefits. But the reality is that finding the right kind of support isn’t always simple. Traditional services often separate autism and ADHD, and strategies that help one part of your wiring might not suit the other.

That’s where neuroaffirming support makes all the difference. It’s about:

• Counselling: having a safe space to explore identity, grief, mum guilt, or the emotional side of unmasking.

• Coaching: learning practical tools that work with your wiring — from building gentle routines to managing overwhelm in realistic ways.

• Community: being surrounded by others who “get it,” so you don’t have to explain or apologise.

At Mumshine, I bring these threads together — offering counselling, AuADHD coaching, and Mumshine Meetups where mums can connect in neuroaffirming spaces.

What Helps Mums with AuDHD

Every mum is different, but there are common approaches that many AuDHD mums find helpful:

• Self-compassion: replacing harsh self-talk with kindness. Your worth isn’t measured by your productivity.

• Acceptance strategies: learning to embrace “good enough” parenting instead of chasing perfection.

• Grounding and sensory tools: quick resets like deep breathing, a body scan, or stepping outside for fresh air can calm your nervous system.

• Practical supports: delegation, reducing decision-fatigue, and building routines that flex with your energy cycles.

• Peer connection: sharing space with mums who understand the highs and lows, without judgement.

These supports aren’t about making you “less AuDHD.” They’re about helping you live more in tune with your unique rhythm.

Moving From Struggle to Support

Being “wired both ways” doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your brain moves to a rhythm that’s different, and that difference deserves understanding, not shame.

With the right support, you can find ways to reduce overwhelm, quiet the mum guilt, and create more moments of joy in your day. And when you feel more grounded, your whole family feels the ripple effect.

I would love to connect with you on a free discovery call to understand more about you and your story and help you work out what support feels right for where you are - right now.

Motherhood is not about being perfect. It’s about showing up as yourself — with your AuDHD wiring, your strengths, and your compassion intact.